Times like these!

There are things in life that most of us will be placed in a position that we are unable to do. Some of these things will be little things that we really don't care about, some of the other things will be of a level of importence to us personally, and this is where our inability will become a wall that we will take on as a personal battle.

Some of the problems that I deal with are because of my illness, and some are because of scenarios's that I have been placed in by chance, or choice. It doesn't matter really which one? But the one that is bothering me today is that I am sitting here and wishihng I could go do what I was invited to do with some friends, and I don't believe that I possess the strength to force myself to really go do it! And this is one of the greater of the pains of my illness. Because at times it makes me feel as if life is being taken away, and all I can do is watch!

When I look at the other side of life, and I watch all of the pain that is being brought on just because of some idiotic legal term, all the energy that is being sucked out of me because of all of this, it really upsets me!

When I am being consumed by all of this negative energy as I am now. This isn't a good thing for anyone! All it does is make and create bad feelings for everyone. And all this does is make my illness worse. Which in the end takes away from me what I really wish I could be doing right now, the thing my friends called me out to do in the first place.

As I said, sometimes we are forced into a place that we don't really want to be, and other times all we can hope to do is try to make the best of it, because some days I am not sure how I can, more often then not like an old friend whom was doomed to forever to roll a huge stone up the hill in Hades only to have it roll down again as it nears the top, over and over.